just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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