So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
