part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
