Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize