Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
