: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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