I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize