she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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