You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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