I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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