Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
