I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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