He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
