Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
