i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My vagina is very pro this idea
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
