I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
