3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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