so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
