so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
