My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
