What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize