I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We left the knife in your bed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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