we have officially lost it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
