But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
