does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
