Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
