How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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