i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
3pm strippers are depressing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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