she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm passing your future prison.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
