I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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