THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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