god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
