hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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