you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
