i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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