exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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