I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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