I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
