My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
