I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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