i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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