I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
