gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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