Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
