Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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