just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
