Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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