I wish I could punch you in the face.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
