I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize