I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
