Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
