i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Porn is love you can see.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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