My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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