when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
