Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
