i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
