Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What a dumb baby whore.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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