PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
