so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
