Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we made out on top of his cat.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
