yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
