i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
