member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
