I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I need moral support for this bender
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
