that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
