If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize