grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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