i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
