So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
