I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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