He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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