an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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